Kenapa?

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Kenapa sih relationship gak dibikin less complicated aja? Intinya pacaran nyari kenyamanan kan?

Here is how I describe kenyamanan:

To hold when we’re weak, when we need a little talk or a long talk, an emotional transaction, to hold a secret, to make us feel accepted, to listen when you think nobody would understand, release your deepest anxiety and give you a nice warm hug, ask you for your day, support you, random text message to cherish your gloomy day, laugh with you, do stupid things with you? hang out with you?

Komitmen atau status cuma akan menimbulkan tuntutan, kegelisahan, ketidaknyamanan, memicu konflik. Akhirnya lupa sama tujuan utama buat saling bikin nyaman, malah saling ‘kontrol’. Makanya masa PDKT itu lebih indah dari pacarannya sendiri, bukan karena semata-mata kita masih saling nutupin sifat buruk. Tapi karena kita punya self-control. Saat pedekate kita jadi more happy less worry karena ngasih sayangnya tulus, penasarannya terus ada, usaha buat ngejaga hatinya juga ada.

SO, WHY? WHY you don’t believe the greatness of loving without expecting, without forcing to get loved back?

Well, tadinya cuma skeptis sama hubungan pacaran, sekarang skeptic sama semua laki-laki. Cuma setitik aja yang bikin ilfil, then I’ll say goodbye. They’ll end up the same, eventually.
I once have fully opened my heart. It was magical at first, but then he ripped my heart. The cut is too deep. I bled too much. Now my heart died. I lost my trust.

I still give chances to boys not because I’m searching a new one. It’s simply because I wait the moment when he finally show his ‘true color’, in which all the boys end up the same eventually.. And I was like “c’mooon show meee show me and prove me that I’m right!”

If falling in love is like being drunk, then now I’m sober. I’m not saying I’d stop drinking, but I prefer to avoid it. As far as I could.

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